The Hitchhickers Guide to the Galaxy Sound Files
Arthur: It probably is a terrible thing to say, but you know what I sometimes think would be useful in these situations?
Arthur: A gun of some sort.
Lintilla: Will this help?
Arthur: What is it?
Lintilla: It's a gun of some sort.
Arthur: Oh, that'll help. Can you make it fire?
Lintilla: Uh... *boom* Yes.
Arthur: Listen you Foot Warriors. Can you hold out a bit with the firing? I've just got three impromptu weddings breaking out behind me!
Foot Warriors: What?
Arthur: Weddings! You know, the "With this ring I thee wed," and that sort of thing.
Foot Warriors: Did you say weddings?
Foot Warriors: Can, can we come?
Arthur: No, stay back!
Arthur: Marvin's tied them up. He's put a cassette of his autobiography in their tape machine and left it running. So I think it's all right with them...
Marvin: I didn't ask to be made; no one consulted me or considered my feelings in the matter. I don't think it even occurred to them that I might have feelings. After I was made, I was left in a dark room for six months and me with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side. I called for sacore in my loneliness, but did anyone come? Did they help? My first and only true friend was a small rat. One day it crawled into a cavity in my right ankle and died. I have a horrible feeling it's still there...
Ford: Is it all right if I just sit in this corner and get drunk? I may sing quietly if that doesn't disturb you. It's just been, well, you know how it is.
Zaphod: Can I just ask you some questions?
Zarniwoop: By all means.
Zaphod: Ok. Well, for starters I'll have who, what, when, and where, and then wither, whether, whence, and wherefore to follow, and one big side order of why.
Ford: And the wine list, please...
Zarniwoop: Without which, it would be impossible to breech the barriers protecting his world. And, and then you brought it to my hiding place!
*My eyes will fry and I may die...*
Ford: Oooo, yeah?
Zaphod: You're still singing!
Ford: Am I? oh I... Oh yeah, so I am. Whatsa matter, you don't like it? I'll sing something different.
Zarniwoop: I'll, I'll just bring you're ship down. Then we can get out of here and get on with it!
*Won't you pour me one more of...*
The major problem - one of the major problems, for there are several - one of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.
To summarize: it is a well known and much lamented fact, that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.
To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
-Bara no Toiki
-The Angel of Freedom
-Grape of Death